Helium

From balloons to lungs:
the secret to making you
sound like Mickey Mouse.

Hydrogen

Unseen, unsensed, and
yet when mixed with air this gas
unleashes all Hell.

(Yes, I am writing a haiku for every element in the periodic table. Just me making my peace with the devil that is Chemistry. Stay tuned for tomorrow's exciting installment of Helium!)

"What is the sound of
one hand clapping?" asked the man.
"Haiku hi-five!" *SLAP*

My Goals (in no order):

1. Be a psychic detective.
2. Author books with words and maybe some without.
3. Be an infamous magician.
4. Be in a rocking band that totally rocks.
5. Be an adventurous vagabond.
6. Be an acupuncturist/healer.
7. Be a Special FX guy that makes really awesome puppets and horror movies.
8. Be a portrait artist.
9. Be an amazing dad.
10. Be a world-renowned champion of the silly face.
11. Invent something no one's ever thought of before.
12. Leave the world a little better than how I found it.
13. Overthrow the government in a stylish, humorous manner.
14. Learn to fix things I've broken.
15. Get my pilot's license.
16. Become a licensed hypnotherapist & psychologist.
17. Become an astrologer/palm reader/tarot fortune teller.
18. Sell all of my stuff after having learned what I can from it.
19. Invent the most delicious secret recipe for oatmeal...ever.
20. Fall madly, hopelessly, full-moon-howling crazily in love.